Abyss of the Void

ADRIFT (first draft)

2010-02-21T19:18:00.000-08:00

I feel adrift
I feel like I’m floating in the abyss.
I wish I had my miracle.
My miracle would be you.
But however I don’t think I will find any miracles.

I feel adrift.
Maybe I will always be alone.
I feel adrift.
Maybe I will die old and alone.
Will someone miss me?
I feel so adrift…

I feel adrift.
I feel like I have no hope to find the one.
Sometimes I feel like that.
I feel like I know less when it comes to people.
I feel more lost sometime.
More than I was once before.

I feel adrift!
Maybe I always be alone.
Adrift.
Adrift!
I feel adrift
Maybe I won’t find her.
The one who loves me.
Maybe I will always be alone.
I feel adrift
Like I will always be alone.
Maybe I will be.
Maybe there are no miracles.
Not even the one I’m looking for.
Not the one who will be my miracle.

SUFFER IN SILENCE

2010-01-14T16:51:00.000-08:00

Last Day I feel I’m sane.
Last Day I feel whole.
I feel like I’m going crazy
Like the universe is being cruel.
Can I have a normal life?
Will I always be alone?

Will I have to suffer in silence?
I don’t want to cause any harm?
I don’t want to be a burden.
I don’t want to add another problem.
Maybe I will have to suffer in silence.
Maybe I can’t tell you.
It just would complicate it.
I don’t want to lose what we have already.
I don’t want it to be awkward.
Maybe I will suffer in silence.
Until I could find a better way to tell you.
Or until I feel sane again.
Suffer in Silence.
I’ll suffer in silence.

Every day, I wish I knew a way.
Every day, I wish I would wake up sane.
And it’s not the way I pictured it.
Nothing to worry about in the morning.
Maybe I will be alone forever.
Maybe I will have to suffer in silence.
Maybe that’s my price.
Every day, I wish I knew a way to win your heart
Until then, I’ll suffer in silence.
Every day, I wish I knew a way without it becoming complicated.

You would understand if you knew I liked you
You would understand why I suffer in silence.
Maybe you would say I’m a fool and I should have told you.
Every day, I wish I had a way to tell you how I feel
Without it becoming so complicated.
Wishing it wouldn’t feel like it would be awkward.
I need you as a friend forever.
No matter what even if I have to suffer in silence
And not tell you the way I feel about you.
Until then I will suffer in silence.

PERFECT (draft 1)

2010-01-14T16:41:00.000-08:00

You don’t need to change anything.
Even your imperfections.
Cheer up and smile.
You are what you are.
You’re perfect just the way you are.
You’re perfect to me…

You don’t need to be unhappy.
Just go with the flow.
Everything will work out.
You are perfect.
Despite what you hate about your life
You are perfect to me
You’re perfect to me…

Falling down in the world
I’ll pull you up.
I’ll keep you going if you need a shoulder to stand on
Don’t let the world tear you apart…
I’ll help you if you want
You’re not alone
I have been to some dark places in my soul
You don’t need to fear
You don’t need to change anything
Our imperfections make us interesting
We can strive to learn and fight against the abyss
Because you’re perfect.
Perfect just the way you are…….
You’re perfect
You are perfect to me.
You don’t need to feel down.
If there was a way to make you smile when you’re down,
I would find a way or
Even be a shoulder to lean on.
You’re perfect
You’re perfect to me
Perfect despite what you feel are your flaws.
You’re perfect to me.
Perfect to me….

You don’t need to be alone.
You don’t need to have anything tear you down.
You can be stronger.
I know you can be.
It may seem daunting
Think of the people you have yet to meet.
Think of the people who will change you.
I know you’re perfect to me
You’re perfect just the way you are…
Don’t leave just yet.
Just stay and we can get to know each other better
Don’t be afraid.
Just be strong.
I don't want this world without you in it.
Just take it a day at a time.
Just like we all do.
You're perfect to me
You don't need to change a thing
You're perfect to me
Don't leave now.
You're perfect to me

The Impossibility List

2010-01-01T16:13:00.000-08:00

I have come up with an idea for a story. What if one had an impossibility list where the more impossible things start coming true.

I have my secret list of possible and impossible things for Christmas. None of them came true as of yet.

The list includes a great kiss froma beautiful woman and the impossible one of getting a device that allows me to travel the multiverse (journies to multiple universes).

ALONE

2009-12-30T17:20:00.000-08:00

Alone is where I am.
Drifting alone like every night.
Wishing she was there.
Maybe I will always be alone.
Only to be happy in fleeting moments.
Always hoping that I would have hope to love
And that I find the one that loves me back.
Until then I will be alone.
Wishing that I didn't have to be alone.
Wishing I could have someone to be there for me.
Wishing I wasn't so alone like so many years before this.
Wishing I hear the words I love you from her lips.
Wishing I had someone to help keep up hope.
Someone that makes me stronger
Because it is easier to be stronger when united instead of being strong alone.
I wish I wasn't so alone!
I wish I had someone!
Someone who would love me back....

Not quite experimental as of yet

2009-12-17T18:36:00.000-08:00

I just have lyrics to share on this blog. I'm inspired to write. I have so many other things to share in this space. I found my song lyric muse again. I just hope the song lyrics aren't so depressing as always. I even thought of a more depressing version fo a song I wrote years ago called Bloody Love Life.

Again I will try not to have the blog to be gloom. I have some stories to share and hopefully some funny remarks. Enjoy. Also check out my photos at Flickr:
http://flickr.com/photos/enterlinemedia

HOLLOW

2009-12-17T17:58:00.000-08:00

You said hope was the best thing about love.
You said you didn't like broken dreams.
Dreams that shatter your hope in someone.

I wish it wasn't so complicated.
I wish it was easier.
I wish I could find a way.
I feel hollow after I leave you.
I wish there was a way.
Maybe I will be alone.
I do want hope in love.
I do want hope to bring me out.
I wish you felt the same way.
It's just too complicated.

You said you make this so fun.
You say you love smiling.
You said OK- let's do it.
You said you wish you were ten years older.

I wish it wasn't so complicated.
I wish there was a way I had hope.
Because I'm on empty when it comes to hope in love.
If there was a way and you said yes, I would not delay
Even if it meant I was damned.
Even if it made it so complicated.
I don't want a hollow heart.
I want love to fill my hollow heart.
You said hope is the best thing about love...................

I just wish it wasn't so complicated.
I wish I didn't feel hollow.
I wish I didn't feel sad.
You said love is a fool's game.
But however it is a game we play.
I don't wanta hollow heart.
I want it to be filled.
You said hope is the best thing about love (I wish things were so complicated).
I don't want to be hollow.
I just want to have hope (why do things have to be so complicated).
I want to be loved like everyone else.....
You said hope is the best thing about love..............
love.....................

HOPE

2009-12-15T18:02:00.000-08:00

Alone in the night.
Alone wishing...
Alone wishing I had the hope you had.
Alone wishing there was a way.

Alone in this world.
Alone wishing there was a way to find you.
Wishing it wasn't so complicated.
Wishing there was a way to you.
Wishing you liked me like I like you.
I wish I had hope.
Will you give me hope?
Will you give me the hope I need so much.
Wishing I wasn't so alone.
Maybe I will always be alone.
Alone and wishing I had your hope for love.
Wishing someone could help me get a little hope....

Now a long overdue update

2005-04-15T09:56:00.000-07:00

I have been working on the military sci-fi novel. I have been averaging 1,000 to 2,500 words a week. I started another novel while I should also start on the vampire novel. I finally got a hsort story read to put in the mail to submit to a big magazine (after printing up half of the pages again due to errors I missed and new revisions). Now I have four short stories to revise and beef up before I submit each of them. Also I have a magazine article to revise and submit the final draft (and pictures) by May 12).

I will try to post some short fiction stuff on April 24th. Everyone, have a nice next week.

2005-03-11T23:02:00.000-08:00

Now I wonder what do we see.
Do we see more than we admit?
Do we see more than what others can see?
What is sight?
Is sight more than what we see with our eyes?
Or is it something that is special?

That's all I got at the moment. I'm in a writing mood, but I need to go to sleep and write other stuff over the wekend (time to get back to a sci-fi novel I started a little while ago). I have a sci-fi novel I want to reach 25,000 words by the end of March (I'm at about 14,800 words and wish I have written more in the last two weeks). The novel is slow going, but I have managed to at least get 300 to 400 words written without even trying. Time to step it up and get back to my 5,000 words a week goal (or at least 3,000 words a week). The goal is to write a 60,000 word novel and the plan is to submit some of it to a book publisher within the next few weeks before I have even finished it (but I should have a first draft done before I get a response back on the first three chapters (which aren't my favorite since I like the later chapters even more).

Normal

2005-03-11T22:53:00.000-08:00

Am I normal?
Will I ever be normal?
Do I really want to be?
What''s so special about being normal?!

I am never normal.
What is the meaning of that?
I never want to be average.
I will never be normal.
Never will be normal.

I have so many dreams.
So many dreams I have pushed back.
Never again.
I must be me.
i can never be normal.
Just wear my shoes for a day.
You will then see I can never be normal.
I'm more than that...

2005-03-11T22:43:00.000-08:00

I know that I was walking nowhere.
Now I just need to breath a little more.
Just give me a little more time.
I just don't want no more fear.

I know I'm trying to get where I always wanted to go.
I see my dreams in my mind's eye.
It's just not the best time at times.
I push and hope i have enough time.
I must succeed.
Failure isn't an option.
Give me strength.
Don't push me to somewhere I don't want to go.
Time to walk away.
Time to let me stay free.
Your dreams aren't mine.
They never will be.
I must do it all.
Do it soon.
There is no other way I can see.

2005-02-25T09:03:00.000-08:00

I will relate to you some little info about a novel I wrote back in 1995. I have never submitted it to be published (but I'm going to submit it finally after a final rewrite). I wrote it as a basis for a movie I wanted to make with a dream cast. This dream cast would include Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer, Sam Neill, Christopher Lambert, Jean Reno, and Christopher Walken.

However, I think the actors I want will be too old by the time the novel gets made by me into a movie. Now would be the perfect time for this sci-fi/action thriller/film noir to be made into a movie in the next year or two. The dreams we have that never get realized.

Tony Kane, Part 3

2005-02-25T08:55:00.000-08:00

"You're crazy about seeing a witness. What if she has to be called as a witness? People will atttack her on the relationship if they find out?" Garza ranted.

"No one will find out. I'm discrete. Zoe knows the risk," Kane replied.

"I hope you're right. I don't want the guy who killed Darius to go free on a witness being called into doubt."

"Then we will have to find more to hang the murderer on. "

Garza grunted and turned away from Kane. He got into the car. It was just another night. Another murder scene to go to. Kane couldn't wait for his shift to be over. He wanted to be with Zoe because there was no one like her in his life.

KANE AND ZOE, Part 2

2005-02-15T22:58:00.000-08:00

"Tony, do you love me?"
"How can you ask me that, Zoe? It is only the third date."
'I'm burning inside when I'm not in the room with you. My heart aches for you. Don't leave me. I want this to last forever." Zoe pushed her naked body against Kane's under the red satin sheets. She kissed Tony Kane. His fluids intermingled with hers.

"I don't know about forever. I have seen so much death," Kane said, "That sometimes life lasts for a moment before we're gone. I take life a day at a time. Here today, maybe gone tomorrow."

"That''s a horrible way to look at things, Tony. Love sets us free."

"Love doesn't help some. I have seen lovers dead in their bed. I have seen one confess to killing the other. This job has colored me to a point. Moments with you help remind me why I do my job. I speak for the victims because others have silenced them."

"Just shut up and slip right into me again. we have a few hours before you go to work."

Who is Tony Kane?

2005-02-10T11:24:00.000-08:00

"You're nuts!"
"Why do you think I'm a total whack, Garza?" Detective Kane replied.
"Trying to solve each and every case in the Old District. "

"Every vic tells a story. We are the only ones that will speak for them. We can't let them be unloved and unsolved. The Old District may be a crappy place to work cases, but I have to do my job."

Garza shook his head as he stamped out his cigarette.
"You know someone is going to put one into you one of these days."

"I don't believe a bullet is out there for everyone. That's cynical," Kane said.
"Whatever," Garza said, "Don't expect to take me down with you when you get a bullet."
"I'm hurt. You won't have my back?"
"I'll back my partner, but I won't take a bullet for you."

"Who's the vic?"
"Darius Jude. We have a few witnesses to the crime."

Been busy...

2005-02-08T22:42:00.000-08:00

I have been working on editing four short stories I want to submit, started a new short story, and continued with my work on a sci-fi novel. I will make sure to post something later in the week- a short piece of fiction or a poem.

a story I'm thinking about

2005-01-25T23:46:00.000-08:00

"Why do you play this game?" she asked.

"Because I want to win the big one and quit for a while. The game sometimes isn't fun like it used to be," I said.
"Then quit and you got yourself a date."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes," she said.

The video keno machine came to life with the next push of the button. The credits started to rack up. I hit the big one in more ways than one.

2005-01-25T23:15:00.000-08:00

I am here.

The darkness falls down.
I walk the deserted streets.
I shout, but no one hears me and no one responds.
I look around and see no one as I search the empty stores.
All that is left is silence...

When Kane Met Zoe

2005-01-19T23:00:00.000-08:00

"Are you OK?"

"No, I just saw some being shot up," she said.

"I'm Kane. Detective Kane. I need to ask you some questions. I know no one should have to ever witness murder, but it's my job to catch those responsible.

"I'm Zoe. I'll answer your questiosn if you answer some of mine later."

"You're serious?!"
"I'm always serious. No joke. Ask away."
"Tell me what happened? Did you see the face of who did it?"
"That''s two questions, Detective Kane. Let em answer them one at a time. OK?"

Blood In The Woods (poem)

2005-01-19T22:57:00.000-08:00

I rise from the earth.
I listen to the quiet woods
as I listen for the sound of pumping blood.
I hear the various sounds of the woods.
The woods are never quiet at night.
It is the time when the most noise scatters
from tree to tree and brush to brush.
I feed on the blood of animals,
but the blood of humans is the best of them all.
The seduction of sleepy travellers who bed down in the woods is just like sweet music
to only give away to the climax as warm blood rushes in through my fangs like honey.
I can rest for days or months under the earth.
when I awake at night, I walk like a ghost
because I am a vampire and I must feed on you...

2005-01-14T23:24:00.000-08:00

I have been going through blogs and I have found one very irritating thing. Pop up windows you have to click on some blogs. People don't want to come acroos your little pop up windows to enter your blog!

Now for the last moment of a character's life.

2005-01-14T14:02:00.000-08:00

"You're not giving me room to breath! You're one crazy bitch!"

"Kane, don't say that! We were good together. Please take me back."

"I can't. You are your own problem, Zoe."

The snow continued to fall. Zoe's face turned ugly. Her eyes burned into Kane's.

"You want to breathe. I'll make you breathe," Zoe said coldly, "You can breathe out here in the snow."

"Really?! How are you going to make me breathe?" Kane yelled.

The wind picked up as the temperature continued to drop.

"This way," Zoe said after she pulled out a pistol.

Detective Kane tried to reach for his .45.

"Don't do this. Are you going to shout me?"

Zoe fired. One bullet exploded against Kane. The second exploded inside him. He fell onto the snow. His blood started to leave his body. The snow turned a violent crimson that the falling snow couldn't cover up.

Zoe stared at Kane. Kane's life flashed before him.

A Random rant before I get back to the fiction

2005-01-14T13:59:00.000-08:00

I wonder what people think about profanity and how much should be used when it comes to real life, message boards, works of fiction, works of non-fiction, and etc.

Should Profanity be used around kids or taught to kids? No.

How much is enough profanity in fiction? It depends on the work of fiction and if it fits the character, and the writer isn't trying to do it because he wants to use profanity for the hell of it.
Should profanity be used in message boards and articles (on websites and in magazines)? It depends on the intent and not just using language to spout your mouth off on sites like aint it cool news, other sites and mbs, and some troll boards. It also depends on what type of audience you're reaching (magazines, websites) and how the writer weaves the words. As for some messgae boards (not ExIsle), it depends on what a board allows and how the posters use profanity in their comments (I refrain from using profanity on mbs and rather use a less colorful adjective to get across the point if need be).

It also comes to standards and what do you expect out of mbs, magazines, works of fictions, web sites, and other people. I could state sometimes profanity is used well in fiction because it fits the characters and enviroments, but it also depends on taste (varies from person to person whether it is right or wrong).

To start out this blog..

2005-01-14T11:15:00.000-08:00

I have decided to post a 500 word short piece of fiction as an experiment to try something different. Wether you like this short story short, I liked writing it. Like with all pieces of fiction her, it is all about trying new things on the fly.

THE END
by David Blackwell

It will be dark soon. The world is going to end in five hours or at least civilization as we know it. I'm watching KISS ME DEADLY on the DVD player as I avoid the 24 hours a day news broadcasting on every single channel. Why do I need to be depressed more? If tomorrow is the beginning of the end of the human race, that is the way it will be. I can imagine that the world governments do have some crazy schemes to stop the incoming Harbinger Asteroid, but that kinda of stuff only works in the movies.

"What are you doing? Don't you want to go outside and see the change come?"
"No, I don't. Who are you anyway?" I said to the figure that appeared in my living room.
"I'm Erebus. I might just be a devil, an angel, or just inside your head," he answered.
"Do you really have to go like some creepy angelic guy?"
"No, I don't. I can look like anyone you want me to be. How's this?"
Erebus now looked and sounded like Lauren Bacall.
"Don't you think Bogie will get jealous?" I joked.
"Is this better?" Erebus asked.
"Sure, I like that Philippines mail order bride look," I smirked.
"Remember I may just be in your head. Someone's at the door."
"You know. Her," Erebus said.

There was a knock on the door. I looked.
"How did you know?"
Erebus was gone.

She was at the door. The only woman I wanted to love.

"Why are you here, Kia?"
"I wanted to see you," she said, "Are you going to let me in?"
"Why?" I asked
"I had to face the truth about us."
"You're a coward. We would have been great together," I said.
"It wouldn't have worked!" Kia replied.
"Fear drove you away and it drives you back to me now because the world is about to end. How dare you!"
"I need you now!"
"Kia, will you be there tomorrow if any of us survive...or will you run again?"

She was silent. I could see she wanted to cry. I held her. She looked at me.

"Why is this happening?" she asked.
"I don't know. Maybe things happen."
"I'm not talking about the asteroid." She kissed me on my lips.

We undressed quickly as I lead her to the bed. Nothing else mattered. We melted in each other way until the time the world ended as we knew it. Then it was dark.